Depressed Les» benefit

“More than your biochemistry…”

Leslie — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 12:38:05 +0000

This article was on the Psychology Today website. The author believes that “Depression is more a social problem than a medical one, and no purely biological cure will be found for it any more than biology alone will cure other social ills such as poverty or child abuse”.

I think this is an interesting theory and one that I definitely buy into. In the last month of improvements I’ve seen in my life, my medication dosages have not changed, but my attitude has- and this has improved my relationship with Tareak and my view of myself.

Let’s Expand Our View of Depression: You’re More Than Your Biochemistry

By Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D. on June 2, 2009 – 8:29am in The Social Side of Depression

The costs of depression on a variety of levels are huge: Marriages and families splinter, individuals suffer, societies suffer the consequences of the often destructive behaviors of people coping badly or not at all with their depression, businesses suffer the negative effects of employees too disabled to function properly, the economic costs of greater health care expenses are greater for depressed patients, and there is the tragedy of suicide – lives lost to despair and apathy. Depression is a terribly disabling disorder, and despite significant advances in treatment, the problem continues to grow.

Depression is a multi-dimensional disorder. It has biological components based in genetics, neurochemistry and physical health, it has psychological components that involve many individual factors such as cognitive style, coping style, and qualities of personal behavior. And, it has social components, factors that are mediated by the quality of one’s relationships, including such variables as the family and the culture one is socialized into, and one’s range of social skills. The best, most accurate answer to the basic question, “What causes depression?” is, “Many things.”

Currently, the medical model of depression receives the greatest attention for a variety of reasons. The pharmaceutical industry in particular has invested tens of billions of dollars in advertising to the public as well as investing directly in individual physicians, encouraging all to define depression as a disease caused by a neurochemical imbalance that requires medication to manage. The lion’s share of research money goes to drug research, further elevating drugs to the status of being the source of hope for everyone who suffers depression. As a result, antidepressants are the most widely prescribed medication in the U.S., and are considered a first-line treatment approach, de-emphasizing the value of psychotherapy despite its success not only in treatment, but in the area of prevention.

It may sound extreme to some, but I stand by this statement: Depression is more a social problem than a medical one, and no purely biological cure will be found for it any more than biology alone will cure other social ills such as poverty or child abuse. This is not to say that antidepressant medications shouldn’t be a part of treatment, especially in those specific instances where there are clear benefits medication can provide over psychotherapy. Rather, medications should be used more carefully and with an associated recommendation for a well-considered skill-building psychotherapy.

The social side of depression is especially important, yet is terribly under-considered in most people’s consideration. We know, for example, that depression runs in families: The child of a depressed parent is anywhere from three to six times more likely to become depressed than the child of a non-depressed parent. The genetics research makes it quite clear that it isn’t entirely – or even mostly – faulty genes responsible, especially since there is no “depression gene.” It has more to do with the patterns of thinking, coping, behaving, and relating that parents (and other significant role models in our society) model day in and day out than it does one’s genetic makeup. When you have the largest demographic group of depression sufferers now raising children, it should surprise no one that their children are the fastest growing group of depression sufferers. After all, parents can’t teach their children what they don’t know.

Furthermore, the more distressed one’s marriage, the more likely one is to either already be or to become depressed. The quality of one’s marriage is a very large risk factor, yet many people never consider how powerful a good marriage can be in helping insulate its members against depression. These points provide excellent reasons to want to strengthen parents and marriages.

To think of depression as only an individual’s biochemical disorder, as if he or she isn’t a product of powerful social forces that operate in families, organizations, and cultures, or to reduce it even further to a purely biochemical phenomenon, is so terribly reductionistic as to disempower the very people who need help changing their lives, not just their brain chemistry. It’s true: You are more than your biochemistry.

You can learn more when you visit my website: www.yapko.com. When visiting, be sure to sign up to receive my free bi-monthly newsletter.

Crocheting keeps the hands busy

Tareak — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:30:08 +0000

Leslie has identified the occasions when she is most likely to feel the urges of trichotillomania. The urges usually occur when she is reading (which she does a lot of) and when she is watching TV. I’m usually not around or have already gone to bed when she is doing these activities, and can’t monitor her or point out to her what’s happening. We decided to get her some of those rubber things people put on their fingers when they are sorting through papers. We got enough for all her fingers and this little trick works when she’s wearing them, however getting her to wear them is a challenge in and of itself. Recently Leslie started trying out a new technique for when she’s watching TV. Crochet. It keeps her hands busy and I think this technique is awesome. Time will tell if this new skill will help break the mental pull of Trichotillomania.

As bad as it sounds I love this disorder as benefits me so much. It like we have a symbiotic relationship except I don’t benefit her as much as she benefits me. I know the relationship is not yet equal but I’m working on it. More education and renewed vigilance on my part will hopefully help Leslie bring this disorder under control. I did get her to stop her life-long habit of biting her nails though, and she has been “clean” for the past 3 years. One disorder down and twenty or so to go.

Trichotillomania – My wife pulls my facial hair out

Tareak — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 00:30:42 +0000

When I was about 16 I started getting facial hair which I thought was cool. As I got older I realized that the hair on my face was creeping up my checks. Instead of shaving it I decided to puck it out instead and only shave along a specific line. I didn’t want to have a thick beard line under my eyes like you see with some guys. I maintained my beard line for years and my hard work paid off. I did not have a beard line under my eyes.

When I meet Leslie in Hawaii I somehow mentioned that I pluck the hair on my upper checks as a part of my grooming habits. She was fascinated and asked if she could do it. I was a little shocked that she wanted to do it but I decided it would be ok. Secretly I was excited because I had always dreamed of marrying a girl who would fix my face every week. The whole process takes about an hour once a week. I’m very particular about how I pluck the hair on my cheeks, which I explained to Leslie. I got a mirror so I could watch what she was doing and gave her constant instructions on the way I like it done. This visibly frustrated her and the truth is I was surprised she put up with it. Well she did it a few times and got better and better at doing it the way I wanted. In my mind I was thinking I found my dream girl. Crazy huh.

Well shortly after this experience we started dating and then I returned to Australia. I was a wreck. Having Leslie fix my face was a luxury, my very own little spa therapist. Some time passed and we decided to get married, but before we could get married I needed to talk to her dad and meet her family. I flew to Vancouver, Canada and Leslie and the family drove up as I was not permitted to come into the country until my visa was processed. Well we had a great trip and I got the permission then they left. The day before I was fly home I had a rental with a full tank of gas so I decided to go down to the border and ask the guys if I could go see my fiancé for a few hours before my flight. They were very cool and they let me surprise Leslie with a spontaneous visit.

Leslie and I were hanging out in her room at her parents’ house when she told me that she suffers from trichotillomania. The first thought that came to my mind was “Crap that sounds bad. Why is she telling me now, I just got permission to marry you”. Well she explained that she has compulsive urges to pull out her hair. “Aah it all makes sense now”, I was thinking. Where in the world can you find a beautiful girl who is patient and detail oriented enough to want to pluck hundreds of little hairs from your checks? Nowhere thats where! For me this is a rare gift that benefits me tremendously. On the flip side as I have been leaning about it, it is quit the challenge for Leslie to control. She pulls her eye brows and eye lashes out and I can never catch her at it. She spends a lot of time making me beautiful yet at the same time she kills her good looks because of the disorder. My goal is to help her bring it under control allowing for a controlled release on my face.

Using Cognitive Behavioral therapy at home

Tareak — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:24:08 +0000

The book I’m reading and working through with Leslie has been challenging the way I think and solve emotional problems. So far I have learned that cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this is that we can change the way we think to feel and act better even if the situation does not change. Cool huh. The great thing about cognitive behavioral therapy is that you don’t have to see a therapist because there is so much information and many techniques you can try on your own with the help of a friend or loved one. All you need is education. Leslie and I are currently reading the book Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression. It helps me understand the basics in depressive thinking and it also provides Leslie with homework. (The kind of homework that if you have depression you won’t want to do.) It’s a good thing I’m around to help with her daily tasks that hopefully will help her begin to challenge depressive thinking.

Why do people who suffer from depression or any other mental and emotional problem go to therapists? I think they go for a couple of reasons. First, they have been taught by society that if you have problems you should seek help in the form of a therapist. Second, we believe therapists know something about these illnesses that we don’t, which makes sense since they most likely studied for a long time. Third, because we need to tell someone our problem who is a neutral party, that doesn’t know our friends and is paid to tell you, “You’re not crazy”. I think the success you can have by paying hundreds of dollars to a therapist can be duplicated at home based on a few assumptions. They are that you have someone close to you that you trust completely and who is willing to help you with your challenges. The next thing is to do some research on the internet or at your local library on cognitive behavioral therapy specifically, techniques you can try and begin developing an active plan for educating yourself. This process does not have a time line, but if possible you should set milestones that you would like to achieve. Once you have identified literature that you believe could begin to help you down the path of achieving positive mental health the tough stuff happens. Your trusted companion who is helping you through this process so far will need to be truly committed during the next part of your self help mental health plan. Work through the literature and begin working on the techniques, it’s that simple.

Even though it is simple I have noticed with Leslie that simple tasks can be paralyzingly difficult to the depressed mind. This simple process is something we have been working on for the past few months and we are in the “practicing techniques” stage. Most days I have to encourage her and help her through some tasks and other days she completely surprises me and does them all on her own. In those moments my mind races ahead of me and I think we’re close to conquering this depression stuff but she reminds me that we have just taken a few steps forward. I always tell her we should celebrate the victories when they come and I still choose to be excited because as long as we are moving forward I know one day soon Leslie will be a master of her mind.