Depressed Les» education

Depression Myths- Part 1

Leslie — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 12:30:59 +0000

Since “coming out” about my depression I have had varying responses to my blog. Most people have been very supportive and understanding. Many people have been able to relate. But there is a small group who have a harder time with my blog for some of the following reasons: 1- they have never experienced depression, or known anyone who was depressed therefore never had any real reason to educate themselves about depression, 2- they think depression is something bad or something to keep hidden and deal with on your own, or 3- they don’t acknowledge or recognize that depression is an actual medical condition, not just a fleeting bad day. I have found some common “Depression Myths” online from several sources (all cited at the end of this article). I have gone through and chosen some that I feel are the most common or at least the ones I’ve encountered in discussing depression with others.

1- MYTH: If you have depression you are depressed all the time.
Depression is most often something that comes and goes not something you feel 24/7. This misunderstanding about depression makes it deceptively easy for many with mild depression to believe they don’t really have a problem to address, but are just having “occasional bad days.” This is particularly concerning because the quicker you start taking care of yourself and get the help you need, the quicker depression can end and the easier it will be to heal.
-Leslie’s comments: Another side to this myth is to help others recognize that even though you are laughing and smiling you can still be depressed. See blog entry “Not always as it seems” for more on this subject”

2-MYTH: Depression does not affect children or teenagers – their problems are just a part of growing up.
We’d like to believe that all children experience a happy, carefree childhood, but that’s simply not the case. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, studies show that 1 in 33 children and 1 in 8 adolescents are depressed in any given year. Children are not as practiced at articulating their feelings as adults, so adults must take the initiative to look for and notice symptoms of depression in children.
-Leslie’s Comments: My first major bouts of depression occurred when I was in High School. My parents didn’t recognize my symptoms as depression and instead would continually ask me if I was using drugs (as in illegal drugs). Anyone who knows me well, knows how funny their suspicions were because they were so far from the truth.

3-MYTH: Depression only happens when something bad happens in your life, such as a breakup, the death of a loved one, or failing an exam.
Depression is more than just having occasional sad thoughts. While everyone experiences ups and downs in life, and often will feel sad for some time after a serious loss or disappointment, developing depression does not require a specific negative event. Prolonged periods of hopelessness, sadness, and lack of interest in things someone usually enjoys are symptoms of depression. Depression can arise suddenly, even when things in life seem to be going well.
-Leslie’s Comments: This myth seems to be particularly common. People always seem to want to know “Why” you are depressed, implying that something bad must have happened to make you feel down. While you can feel depressed and down for short periods of time after something bad happens, this is not classified as the medical version of depression.

4- MYTH: Serving others will cure depression.
Contrary to popular belief, service does not cure depression. Serving from an empty bucket is akin to squeezing water from a stone and will merely drain your already low reserves and make it less likely that you will have time to address your own needs and your own healing. We would never tell someone with a broken leg to just fast and pray to get better, neither will temple attendance or scripture study or service heal the imbalance that has occurred in the brain from accumulated stressors.
-Leslie’s Comments: From a religious point of view depression can sometimes be seen as simply allowing Satan into our lives and giving in to his negative influence. While service is always a good thing to do and can many times make you forget your own problems and worries you would never tell someone with cancer to just forget themselves and go serve someone else in order to fix their illness.

I will address an addtional 4 common myths in my next post.

Sources:

http://www.nmha.org/go/backtocampus/depression

http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/just-diagnosed-822-143.html

http://www.ldsmag.com/familyconnections/040524depression2.html

Living with Depression

Tareak — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:30:25 +0000

I have been living and coping with depression for over 2 years now and I am happy to say it’s getting easier. I must confess the depression is not mine but my wife’s. She has suffered from it most of her life and after being married for a year I have been making a conscious effort to understand the symptoms that cause this debilitating condition. We have been learning about cognitive behavioral techniques that Leslie can do to challenge her belief systems and hopefully tame those thoughts that cause depressive reactions. So far I am happy to report that she is making progress. The rain has come and although this usually causes depressions face to appear more frequently she seems to be handling it well. Better than last year that’s for sure. The best part is that she is noticing in herself a change and feels positive about it. A small victory it is and one worth celebrating. May be its just me being optimistic but I can envision her completely in charge of her condition and capable of functioning without these suppressing conditions.

In all reality it is going to take some time for Leslie to master the different conditions that she suffers from. I have always told her that she was blessed with great intelligence yet at the same time she was given a few mental challenges that she would need to master before she can tap into that intelligence in its entirety. She will continue to show progress as long as we continue to stick with our self education on over coming depression and other mental disorders. This is something I am committed to as she is my best friend and companion and I believe in her.

Crocheting keeps the hands busy

Tareak — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:30:08 +0000

Leslie has identified the occasions when she is most likely to feel the urges of trichotillomania. The urges usually occur when she is reading (which she does a lot of) and when she is watching TV. I’m usually not around or have already gone to bed when she is doing these activities, and can’t monitor her or point out to her what’s happening. We decided to get her some of those rubber things people put on their fingers when they are sorting through papers. We got enough for all her fingers and this little trick works when she’s wearing them, however getting her to wear them is a challenge in and of itself. Recently Leslie started trying out a new technique for when she’s watching TV. Crochet. It keeps her hands busy and I think this technique is awesome. Time will tell if this new skill will help break the mental pull of Trichotillomania.

As bad as it sounds I love this disorder as benefits me so much. It like we have a symbiotic relationship except I don’t benefit her as much as she benefits me. I know the relationship is not yet equal but I’m working on it. More education and renewed vigilance on my part will hopefully help Leslie bring this disorder under control. I did get her to stop her life-long habit of biting her nails though, and she has been “clean” for the past 3 years. One disorder down and twenty or so to go.

Using Cognitive Behavioral therapy at home

Tareak — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:24:08 +0000

The book I’m reading and working through with Leslie has been challenging the way I think and solve emotional problems. So far I have learned that cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this is that we can change the way we think to feel and act better even if the situation does not change. Cool huh. The great thing about cognitive behavioral therapy is that you don’t have to see a therapist because there is so much information and many techniques you can try on your own with the help of a friend or loved one. All you need is education. Leslie and I are currently reading the book Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression. It helps me understand the basics in depressive thinking and it also provides Leslie with homework. (The kind of homework that if you have depression you won’t want to do.) It’s a good thing I’m around to help with her daily tasks that hopefully will help her begin to challenge depressive thinking.

Why do people who suffer from depression or any other mental and emotional problem go to therapists? I think they go for a couple of reasons. First, they have been taught by society that if you have problems you should seek help in the form of a therapist. Second, we believe therapists know something about these illnesses that we don’t, which makes sense since they most likely studied for a long time. Third, because we need to tell someone our problem who is a neutral party, that doesn’t know our friends and is paid to tell you, “You’re not crazy”. I think the success you can have by paying hundreds of dollars to a therapist can be duplicated at home based on a few assumptions. They are that you have someone close to you that you trust completely and who is willing to help you with your challenges. The next thing is to do some research on the internet or at your local library on cognitive behavioral therapy specifically, techniques you can try and begin developing an active plan for educating yourself. This process does not have a time line, but if possible you should set milestones that you would like to achieve. Once you have identified literature that you believe could begin to help you down the path of achieving positive mental health the tough stuff happens. Your trusted companion who is helping you through this process so far will need to be truly committed during the next part of your self help mental health plan. Work through the literature and begin working on the techniques, it’s that simple.

Even though it is simple I have noticed with Leslie that simple tasks can be paralyzingly difficult to the depressed mind. This simple process is something we have been working on for the past few months and we are in the “practicing techniques” stage. Most days I have to encourage her and help her through some tasks and other days she completely surprises me and does them all on her own. In those moments my mind races ahead of me and I think we’re close to conquering this depression stuff but she reminds me that we have just taken a few steps forward. I always tell her we should celebrate the victories when they come and I still choose to be excited because as long as we are moving forward I know one day soon Leslie will be a master of her mind.