All Entries Tagged With: "Exercise"
Triangle Concept
This week Tareak and I met with the one and only therapist that has agreed to see us. Unless we are able to find someone else that is willing to see us (which is unlikely) we will be sticking with her. At the end of our appointment (which went 20 minutes over and she didn’t seem to mind!) she brought out a chart like the one I’ve created below. With it she was able to explain the concept that I’ve been unsuccessful at explaining to Tareak since we got married. I was so glad that she was able to explain it in such a way that we could both understand it.
Here is what she explained:
By looking at the chart below you can see that your thoughts lead to the way that you feel. Then those feelings determine your actions.
As a person who is depressed, I rarely have positive thoughts and therefore I feel down and bad about myself. This leads to feeling totally unmotivated and so I don’t do anything productive with my time. By being unproductive, I am left thinking how useless I am and the negative cycle begins again.
She explained that one way to start feeling better is to reverse the order of the triangle. First, you need to do something that is going to make you feel good. You could exercise, put on an outfit in your favorite color, go enjoy the sunshine, or do anything that will make you feel good. You should ideally do this first thing in the morning. By DOING something first, you will then FEEL better and those good feelings will lead to you THINKING more positively.
Deep down I have always known that this is what I needed to do, but I didn’t have a triangle graph to help me put it into words. Since getting married I have always told Tareak, “If you want me to be productive during the day you just need to get me started. If there is laundry in the dryer that needs to be put away, start putting it away. I will see you doing something and come and join you. Put your shoes on and tell me you are taking Kaya for a walk and ask if I’d like to come. Chances are pretty good that I’ll say yes.” I’ve recognized from life experiences that when I am busy doing something, ANYTHING, from the time I get out of bed in the morning, it is like a snowball effect. I pick up momentum and get more done that day than a lot of people accomplish in a week. In a past post I compared myself to feeling like a rock on the top of a mountain. I just need a good shove and then I’ll usually roll down just fine. Accomplishing so much leaves me feeling good about myself and the negative thoughts are less frequent. Being depressed leaves me with little motivation and it is hard to convince myself to get going, but if someone else can help me out and give me the shove I need, I think I can begin to make progress.
Now that Tareak and I are both on the same page and understand the triangle concept I hope that we will be able to implement it at least a couple times a week.
Anomaly Pending Explanation
Last week something very strange occurred. I felt good. I would even go as far to say, I felt peppy! Unfortunately Tareak was having a rough week at work and not sleeping well, so he wasn’t able to fully enjoy my mood. I’ve been trying to figure out what caused this anomaly to take place and I have come up with a few explanations, none of which are yet confirmed.
Possible Explanation #1- Last week it was sunny most of the week. With the sun out, Kaya and I went for walks about every other day. Tareak was able to join us a few times as well. I’ve always known that exercise makes me feel better, but actually getting myself to do it is an entirely different problem. I’m not sure why I had the motivation to put my shoes on and go for walks, but I believe that it definitely contributed to my mood.
Possible Explanation #2- I have been taking fish oil every day for the past week or so. I haven’t been taking the fully recommended dosage (3 tablets daily) because I was afraid my body wouldn’t like it and so I have been introducing it slowly. Because I haven’t been taking the full dosage I am hesitant to give credit to the fish oil, but I will not rule out the possibility that it has been helping.
Possible Explanation #3- Our insurance changed and they want us to fill all our prescriptions through 90-day mail order. When I filled the prescription for my birth control pills they sent me the generic brand. I was feeling nauseous and had bad headaches when I started to take it, so I researched the brand and saw that these were possible side effects. What I didn’t expect to see was that DEPRESSION is a possible side effect from the birth control! For someone who is already prone to depression it would make sense that I would be more susceptible to this side effect. Since the birth control was making me feel sick anyway I stopped taking it. Tareak doesn’t want me to go back on birth control pills now that we know depression is a possible side effect, but I think he just wants me to accidentally get pregnant! =)
There are obviously several possibilities that could explain the change in mood and I’m not yet sure what to attribute to my success. I’m not going to be able to start on birth control pills for another few weeks (if I decide to start using them again), and I am going to keep taking the fish oil, but it is supposed to rain all week so I can definitely say that I won’t be going for any walks. I guess it is now just a game of trial and error until I find the winning combination for my moods.
Self Evaluation
I frequently read blogs on the Psychology Today website. Today I found an interesting article written by a guest blogger. It discusses 10 ways to get rid of depression. I agree that the 10 ways listed are in fact excellent ways to get rid of depression, the key however is to actually do the 10 things listed. Below is the article with my comments and personal evaluation in RED. I have rated myself on a scale of 1-10 for each item, 1 being horrible, and 10 being excellent.
Top 10 Ways to Banish Depression Now
Depression stinks. No doubt about it. Having treated dozens of individuals with depression over the years, while reading countless books on the treatment, I still believe that the number one factor that really enables me to get to the heart of this malady is my firsthand experience with it.
Depression started tugging at my heels by the time I was 8 years old. By 16, the dean of my high school would call me each morning to make sure I got out of bed and showed up at school, instead of sleeping all day. By 30, I had two boyfriends; Ben and Jerry. Today, I still have low moments, but they are far less often, and last far less long.
Imagine if we had a scribe in our heads, even for a day. I know I would be ashamed to think of what mine might write. Having done a great deal of research on depression, I have heard many expert opinions regarding its etymology. We are still unsure if it is environmental, historical, genetic, energetic, past-life, DNA-related, trauma-based, kharmic law. One thing is for sure; when we got it, we got it, and it can be crippling.
What folks may not know is that there are very useful tricks we can use to alleviate a sour mood. The brain is plastic. It is the last part of our body to really know something. When we tell our brain that life is awful and we are doomed, our brain tends to agree. In fact, I have noticed that when I experience a bout of depression, it is often triggered by events where I feel exposed as a failure. My way out usually begins with a decision. A decision to feel better.
So, I decided to compile this list. Write these down, stick em on your wall, and put them in motion.
Trick 1: Get out of your head and into your feet
The body craves movement. Exercise really works. Let’s not think of it as exercise though. Nothing is gnarlier to the depressed person than imagining him/herself at the gym in ill fitting sweats, panting on the stair master while svelte athletes are bopping around in all directions. As Woody Allen says, 90% of success is showing up. Once we’ve got our walking shoes on, once we get endorphins cooking, the doldrums have less power to penetrate.
Christine Caldwell, Body-Centered Psychotherapist and author of “Getting our Bodies Back” tells us: Our bodies love to move and must move. Movement is the way we define life–when our heart beats, lungs pulse, brain waves, we are alive; in the absence of movement we become inanimate or dead. When movement is held back, energy/life flow is impeded and we become sick.
Rating- 2
I enjoy walking. Unfortunately it is raining 90% of the time in Washington and that doesn’t entice me to go outside. We purchased a treadmill, but our dog uses it more than we do. I know that I feel better when I exercise, but we don’t always do what we know is good for us! =)
Trick 2: Turn on the music
Keep an arsenal of inspiring and fun music. When we’re depressed, the smallest task feels overwhelming. If I can kick-start someone’s joy, then I am thrilled. Turn on the sound.
Rating- 5
I grew up listening to my dad blast his classic Motown hits. Our home was always filled with music. When I actually remember to turn music on, I do notice that I feel more motivated. We recently hooked up some speakers to the ipod and have been listening to more music. Hopefully we can keep it up!
Trick 3: Sit in the sun
Many of us work in windowless cubicles or offices, and wonder why we feel blue. This time of year, when the sun sets earlier, we lose vitamin D. Do anything you can to take in more light. Sit in the sun for 5 minutes. And if there is no sun in your world, then buy a full-spectrum light. Get one cheap on E-bay.
Rating- 3
Oh- wouldn’t it be nice if there were actually sun to sit in! In the warmer months my dog and I do go and find the warm patch coming through the window and curl up on a rug, but those months are a ways off. I have a light that produces artificial sun, but I have not been using it. We do have plans to start a light therapy regimen in the near future because I believe in the power of sun!
Trick 4: Hang out with 4-leggeds (Unless you’re allergic)
Having an animal companion near can instantly release oxytocin, that delicious hormone that we secrete when we fall in love, give birth, or are nursing. It releases a feeling of goodwill, or trust in the world. OK, so not all are blessed to be in love all the time, or be breast feeding, so find other ways to bring on the joy chemical. Read on.
Rating- 10
My dog is literally a lap dog. As soon as anyone sits down and a “lap” is formed, she is on it. This results in lots of oxytocin! See my post on Dog Therapy for more of my thoughts on the benefits of animals.
Trick 5: Change your thoughts
We have around 60,000.00 thoughts per day. Some 87% of them are negative and are the same thoughts we had yesterday. Experiencing joy is a deliberate choice. Joy takes practice. Joy is hardcore.
In Natural Intelligence, Psychotherapist Susan Aposhyan states; “On a muscular level, any thought also results in at least minute muscular responses, evidencing the body’s compulsion to somehow do the thought. Having an affirmation, allows the mind to want to do the thing that we are hoping for.
We must remember that affirmations don’t make something happen, they make something welcome. People tell me, “I put an affirmation up on my bedroom wall, saying: “I am ready to meet a gorgeous, successful, fabulous man who will adore and worship me.” It’s been 3 months. Where is he?” I tell them; “You have made yourself more open to meeting this human. Finding him is another story. Sorry.”
Rating- 3
I am a pessimist. I believe it is impossible to be a realist without being a pessimist. Unfortunately pessimistic thought don’t bring warm fuzzy feelings with them. I am married to the King of Optimism and am slowing learning how to control my thoughts.
Trick 6: Follow a joyous lifestyle.
Find a class, a workout, anything that gets you in your body, preferably sweating a bit. Just getting out of the house and being with other people, say, in a yoga class, or dance class, or knitting group, offers us a distraction from the mind chatter. It works.
Rating-2
I leave the house on average 2 times each week. Once to go to church, and once to go grocery shopping and get gas. Some weeks we don’t need groceries or gas, so I just go to church. I’m still working on finding something enticing enough to get me to actually leave the house more often.
Trick 7: Affirm joy with words
Rudyard Kipling said “I am by calling a dealer in words. And words are by far the most powerful drug in the world”. It may seem trite, but changing the way we speak can be extremely influential in changing our moods.
Rating- 2
This ties directing in to Trick 5. I first have to think positively before I can actually say positive things. A work in progress…
Trick 8: Grab hold of a goal
Make it a do-able one. Psychologist Martin Selegman tells us: Happiness and joy come from goals. We mustn’t put off our lives.
Rating- 4
I am really good at thinking of goals. I am really bad at actually following through.
Trick 9: A smidgen of faith
Christiane Northrup, bestselling author of Womens’ Bodies, Womens Wisdom, and expert on mood disorders, shared this pearl of wisdom in a talk that she gave last summer at the Omega Institute. She says; “We are whom our higher self wanted to experience.” There is some truth to the pithy phrase: There’s no aetheists in foxholes. Have a smidgen of faith and the world can be a gentler space.
Rating- 9
I am religious and believe that we are given trials from a loving Heavenly Father to help us learn and grow. I also believe that with His help all things are possible.
Trick 10: Choose joyous companions
When we are depressed, we take our bored, sluggish selves wherever we go. We need distractions. We need company. We need intimacy. It is very important to be around upbeat people. We need someone who believes in us. No nay-sayers welcome.
Rating- 7
My husband is the most joyous companion in existence. My dog also provides good company. I recognize though that I need additional positive influences in my life since I am alone with my dog most of the time.
*Guest blogger Rachel Fleischman, MSW, LCSW, is a San Francisco-based therapist. Her profile can be found on Psychology Today’s therapy directory.
Well, I officially failed my own self evaluation. 47 out of 100 hardly qualifies as passing. I guess I have some things to work on!
Little Steps
Recently I put a white board in the hallway for Leslie. The purpose of this board is for us to write down negative thoughts that are taking place in Leslie’s brain. Leslie has to write down two positive thoughts to cancel out each negative thought. The other night Leslie’s negative thought was that she thought she was holding me back and was a burden to me. Talk about a screaming negative thought! Of course I told her that’s not true and wrote the thought on the board and told her she needed to come up with two positive thoughts. She kept telling me she couldn’t come up with any positive thoughts because she believed her negative though was true. I decided to help her a little and suggested that since we met and got married I have become more spiritually focused (we are very religious). At that point she didn’t want to participate in the exercise any more. I told her she had until the next day to come up with the second positive thought. The next day she offered some advice on our conversation. She told me that I needed to acknowledge that her feelings of being a burden had truth in it but that it was not all encompassing. I told her I agreed in that to some degree we are a burden to each other simply because we are not perfect. She then went on to say that a reason she is not a burden to me is because she makes me beautiful by plucking the hair from my checks. I was super excited about her participating in the deconstruction of her negative thought and I immediately wrote it on the board.
We have so much work to do and it’s nice to know that we are on our way. Way to go Leslie.