When I was younger I remember a time when I wanted to know if a book was available at the library.  My mom told me to call and see if it was there.  I wouldn’t do it.  I was too scared to call.

I worked in an office during high school.  Most office jobs require you to answer the phone.  I wouldn’t do it.  I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to help the person on the other end of the line with whatever they were calling about.

After my first year of college I came home for the summer to work.  I signed up with a temp agency who placed me in a job where I would be answering the phones all day.  I was scared to death, but after saying “This is Leslie, how can I direct your call.” for 8 hours a day you get over the fear of answering the phone.

Unfortunately my fear has only gotten worse over the years.  I am better about answering the phone now, thanks to my many years of Receptionist work, but making phone calls still scares me.  Some people may understand my fear when I am calling someone I don’t know, but even I don’t understand my fear of calling friends and even family.  Here are some examples:

-My cousin is planning on going to school in Hawaii and wants some advice on where to live, lifestyle in Hawaii, what to pack, etc…  She e-mails me her phone number and asks me to give her a call.  Because she is family and I love talking about Hawaii, I finally call her after spending a few hours talking myself into it.

-Friends from Hawaii that I haven’t seen in a while call me and leave a message (I never have my phone with me or don’t hear it ring) for me to give them a call so we can catch up.  I feel bad that we haven’t talked in so long, but I am too nervous to call them back.  Why?  I have no idea.

-A friend e-mails to see if Tareak and I want to go out to dinner with her and her husband.  She leaves her number and tells me to give her a call.  Instead of calling I e-mail her back and arrange the whole dinner via e-mail without ever even talking to her on the phone.

I don’t know why I’m so nervous to call people.  I can call Tareak and my immediate family without getting nervous, but everyone else is basically torture.  I have one theory on why I don’t like calling people, but it doesn’t necessarily explain why I get nervous.  My theory is this:  I don’t like calling people because I don’t want to be a bother and interrupt whatever they were doing before I called.  I can see why this would make me hesitant to call, but not afraid.

So in conclusion- if I haven’t called you back in days, weeks, months or even years (yes, there are people I haven’t called back in years and it is now to the point where it is just too embarrasing to return the phone call)- don’t be offended.  It is nothing personal.  “It’s not you, it’s me.”  =)  My only advice if you’d really like me to call you back, leave a voice mail or send an e-mail hinting at some big news that you will only tell me if I call you back.  My curiosity usually always gets the better of me, even if it means I have to make……. a scary phone call…. dun…. dun… dun….